Where Is This Really Going?

Now a journal entry from a year ago, after I'd written, or was writing, the last scenes of Your Rig or Mine?:

March 30, 2008

Why do I always feel that immense rush of joy whenever I've written a new segment of the script, when I know it will be followed by that aching frustration that no one else is reading it--and trying to get their interest is like pulling teeth?

Now I'm finally winding down the Sequel to a neat semi-ending, though it's still not quite long enough to be feature-length yet. And so far not a soul has seen it other than me. Has it been worth all the time I've spent polishing and revising it while it wasn't being seen by any other eyes? Again, only time will tell, and I can only take on faith that it has.

It's taking on, more and more, the look of an ongoing series with the clear theme of homeless adults and their relationships. All these different heterosexual pairings, and so far all the couples are white, though not all Americans. Not "PC" that way, but they're "niggers" because they're all homeless or poor, in a ghetto neighborhood.

And I need people to take to it the same way they do to a soap opera, its characters and the actors who play them, so that they want to see these same people continue acting out new situations together. That's the attraction I feel to the material as the writer, so I'd need the audiences to feel it the same way. A single feature-length script is like a short story compared to an ongoing series with a story that continues unfolding nonstop.

Only one person so far has really shown an indication of liking the characters in that way. So I know it's possible. Aren't these the kind of characters who could get a following of fans like other iconic fictional characters? It just seems so! They were conceived in the part of my mind that can spawn such things. I do have that gift! But I still have to find the connection between them and the right READERS!

Nobody understands how HOT I am when I'm on a roll, dammit all! I LOVE these characters and the part of my mind that creates them!

Of course, I know a big part of the problem is the social prejudice against the homeless. People have a hard time conceiving homeless characters as being likable icons, because of the negative stereotyped images that come to their minds at the very mention of the word "homeless." That's the prejudice I have to overcome somehow.

This is, without a doubt, part of that new surge of creative energy that accompanies the beginning of spring! I'm feeling it now, despite the unseasonably wintry weather that's plagued us this past week. It's the same energy I felt two years ago when I was writing the beginning scenes of the first script! YES!

More About Roberta

Here's a little more about the homeless character who is in some ways the most like me. Roberta represents the battered-women contingent of the homeless population. That is, the women who are homeless because of domestic violence, and also become prone to more of it from the partners they hook up with on the street. Roberta is a feisty survivor of these things, but is also very closed up inside herself and afraid of being hurt again. This is a little clip of an early scene in Your Rig or Mine? after Laurie has reached out to her in an attempt to draw her out of herself:

....Then they walk back over to the picnic table and find that LAURIE is once again sitting there alone.

TERRY
Where's Roberta?

LAURIE
She went back in her camper. I guess she's taking another nap. . . .She seems to do that a lot.

TERRY nods.

TERRY
Sleep is one of the few escapes she has nowadays. When she's able to do that.

He sits down across from her.

TERRY
But you did talk to her awhile?

LAURIE
Yeah.

TERRY
Do you think it helped?

LAURIE
I hope so.

TERRY
I gotta say, I'm really glad you've met her. I hate to see what she goes through, and I do my best to be a friend to her, but she only trusts me up to a point. Because I'm a man.

LAURIE nods thoughtfully.

LAURIE
I guess it makes sense that she'd be afraid of men.

TERRY
But you might be able to reach her in ways I couldn't.

LAURIE smiles.

LAURIE
She let me give her a hug.

TERRY
Well, there you go! She wouldn't let me touch her, ever.

Now RUFUS sits down next to LAURIE and puts his arms around her.

RUFUS
You're a sweetheart, you know it?

LAURIE
Yeah, I know it.

On the Creation of this Blog

Well, it's been well-nigh on a year since I first started this here blog. Here is a journal entry with my thoughts about the inception of this project:

November 21, 2007
So a year ago I was only starting to develop a pitching website. Now it's time to create a blog site. I need to find some better angle, a better way to present it. The word "homelessness" still conjures up all these negative and prejudicial images in so many people's minds. The challenge is to find a way past that, to make them see that this is something DIFFERENT! Something entertaining, funny and exciting besides being instructive. Something people could actually enjoy and appreciate insead of just being depressed! That's not so impossible, is it? I'm not just guilt-tripping people; I'm trying to reach their hearts in all kinds of ways that they wouldn't expect!

At least this time there are no rigid "industry standards" to conform to; I have complete free rein to make the blog however I wish! And let more people in my homeless advocacy network know what I'm doing.

Connecting with Other Screenwriters

Now, a journal entry with some thoughts about creating a pitching website for the script at the suggestion of my agent. She showed me a few samples of other screenwriters' websites which gave me some idea of what other people were writing.

If you want to see the website I did make, there is a link to it on this blog, under the heading "Synopsis Website."

November 22, 2006
"Young adult relationships" and "comic irony" are two more keywords I should add to the list, if I do make a website.

Some painful emotions came up when I was reading the websites of other screenwriters trying to do the same thing I am. These are people I'm supposed to think of as "competitors" and be jealous of, yet we're all basically in the same boat. What if we were all in the same screenwriting class together, reading each other's scripts and giving feedback? How long it's been since I was in the same room with such people. Now I only find these "communities" on the internet. Two different screenwriters from Ohio and one from England, all trying to sell their scripts through the same agency.

But whatever it means, and whatever painful emotions it stirs up, I suppose it's better for me to get re-immersed in that stuff as a reminder of where I really belong. It's time to dig deeper into that gutsy world where my soul is. The tortured inner lives of other screenwriters who are just as passionate, wherever they may be located and whatever their age and station in life. I can still make these connections while enjoying the sanctuary of my home and my study. I should be able to have all these things after all this time!

The people who are my true soul-mates are geographically far away, though. How many of them would ever travel the long distance to see me? And could we see each other as colleagues and not competitors, like two dogs fighting over the same bone? Could we even be supportive of each other? That's how it should be, isn't it?

Doubts about Plausibility

Here are a couple of journal entries that express some of my doubts and worries about the script, after reflecting on that very negative critique from one editor:

November 5-6, 2006
Who knows--maybe this script is just a rambling, yacky soap opera after all. But even so, it's not any worse than a lot of other scripts that are being marketed and produced nowadays, with actors' performances that are less than stellar. And at least it's honest and real.

But is it PLAUSIBLE? That's the Number One question that plagues the writer of any kind of fiction, dramatic or narrative. "Not a convincing drama", "Didn't ring true" are words a writer dreads to hear.

But how many movies have I seen with phony scripts in which the actors couldn't possibly believe the lines they're saying? A badly-written script doesn't do justice to a good actor. How can they bring it across in a convincing way if they don't even believe it themselves? And yet this is what novice actors are expected to do all the time.

This is a drama in which the deep underlying truths come from my real life, but they are manipulated in a slightly fanciful and improbable way in order to launch they story into motion. It's a combination of my real-life experience and images that come to me in night-dreams. My challenge is to put these pieces together in a way that "works", while nobody is sure which came from what. It means tweaking the imagination at least a little bit.

On the Commercial Writing Market

Here's a journal entry from two years ago with some thoughts about my agent pitching the first script:

September 19, 2006
There will always be some amount of anxiety and curiosity every time I check e-mail now, till my agent gives me some concrete report on what's going on. The script is apparently out there, so anything could happen. For reasons I don't quite understand, she is all hot to pitch my work as a commercial product. As if it's something she actually believes in. I've seen how these New York capitalists work, when they've latched onto someone's material as a salable item. They don't really understand it; they don't understand a writer's mindset any better then I understand theirs. But they do know how to sell things!

What does she know about homelessness? The odds are, little or nothing. She can't even write that well! Her e-mails to me are full of grammatical errors. But it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what the producers are looking for this year, whether she can find a match between my subject matter and what the producers want, or think they want. To convince them that this is the best script on that topic that's available this year. That, despite all its imperfections and shortcomings, it could still be a blockbuster movie if done right!

It's hard to believe someone is actually doing this with a script of mine, peddling it like a shameless whore. And actually relishes such business! It's all about money to them. And it's a compliment to me if they think my script is worth money!

But all of this notwithstanding, there is still no guarantee that anything will come of this effort at all. So for now I just have to be content with the compliment that these agents think it's worth a shot!

Another Family Estrangement Passage

Now, for another excerpt of a scene appearing in the latter part of the first script, that gives another hint of abuse in RUFUS's past. He and LAURIE have met ROBERTA at the homeless protest at City Hall, and now she is telling them about it while driving them back to MARY's.

page 114
ROBERTA
....It was pretty pathetic, really. One of the reporters was actually trying to persuade the kids to forget the whole thing and go back to their mommies and daddies, to try and "work things out" at home. Ignoring the fact that most of them ran away from home because they were being abused there; you don't "work things out" with parents like that. I don't know how much good we actually did.

LAURIE nods.

LAURIE
Well, an awful lot of people must have seen you on TV; maybe you got through to somebody.

ROBERTA
I hope so, but I don't know.

Then LAURIE notices that RUFUS, who has been uncharacteristically silent throughout this exchange, is now staring morosely out the window.

LAURIE
Honey, are you OK?

RUFUS
(glumly) Yeah, I guess.

But she can see that he is not OK. She gently takes his hand.

LAURIE
What is it?

RUFUS
I don't know. I guess that hit a nerve in me.

LAURIE
What? About being abused at home?

RUFUS
I guess. I don't know. Forget it.

She doesn't press him to say any more, but continues holding his hand. ROBERTA notices his reticence also, and decides to change the subject...